Cell phone woes

My phone, a Samsung Galaxy S3, is dying, it's not taking a charge anymore. Pat & I are having to charge his battery & then swap it with mine. My sister-in-law, Demetra, gave me my mother-in-law's old iPhone 5 to use, she said it might need a new SIM card but it should work even though it's a bit older. I don't have to buy a new phone which we really can't afford right now as we are attempting to sell & buy a house simultaneously. YAY!!

I go to a Boost Mobile store & ask them to switch to this new (to me) phone. The salesperson calls a Boost agent & is told it can be done (after being on hold 20 minutes). She then attempts to set it up & has some problems. She calls HQ back & a different agent says the phone is a Virgin Mobile phone (everything says Sprint) & can't be switched to Boost (after 30 minutes). I need to set it up with VM. Ok.

I check VM online & it says my phone number can't be ported. I call Pat to vent about this ridiculous situation) & he says that is not true, any phone number can be ported, it's a federal regulation thing. I checked the VM website again & it says I can go to Kmart (which is CLOSED) or Best Buy or Rite Aid (WHAT?) to get service. Ok.

So the next day, I go to Best Buy & explain the situation (I'm getting tired of hearing myself talk about this) & they tell me because Boost & Virgin Mobile are both Sprint subsidiaries they (Best Buy) can't switch the phones but I can call VM & do it myself & it would be the easiest thing. Ok.

Back home, I call Virgin Mobile & am asked to enter my phone number, I tried to get a person without supplying this information but was unsuccessful. I am eventually connected with Boost Customer Service (um?!). I explain the situation AGAIN & what I want to do. The rep tries to set up the phone & tells me I need to talk to VM. I explained that I called the VM customer service line but that I was routed to Boost. She offers to transfer me directly to Virgin Mobile. I thank her & wait on hold some more. Ok.

Now I'm actually talking to Virgin Mobile. The rep says there's a problem with the SIM card & I need to talk to "technical support" so she transfers me. Tech answers & I explain the situation again including calling a VM phone number getting Boost support fun & games. I wish I could remember the guy's name because he was very friendly & tried to help me (SPOILER ALERT, he was not successful) but I don't. Anyway, he tries activate the iPhone but finds that there is a problem with the SIM card (that sounds vaguely familiar, where did I hear that before?). I need a new SIM card. He could send me one or I could just go to a Sprint store (which BTW is right across from Best Buy where I just was earlier that day trying to deal with this cluster****) & get one myself. If he sends it, it'll take 2-3 business days. I agree it makes the most sense for me to go to Sprint. He falls all over himself trying to offer apologies & we hang up. I'm super frustrated & not dealing with Route 1 twice in one day but I know what needs to be done. Ok.

The next day I go to Sprint. There are two customer service reps inside each dealing with customers. No one acknowledges my entrance & I resign myself to wait. Around 15 minutes later, a rep is free. I go over the whole rigaramole again & he goes in search of a SIM card. He comes back & says he doesn't have a SIM card for the iPhone 5 as it's dated but he can call another store & see if they have one. He calls Emerald Square Mall & they don't have any there. He says I can go to there supply warehouse in Cranston, um no thank you. Or I can call this direct line & request a SIM card. JFC! Ok.

That was Saturday. We had an Open House on Sunday & I didn't have a chance to call the direct line until Monday morning. When I do call, I'm told this is a Sprint direct line, I say that I know that as I was given it by a SPRINT rep. I explain the situation again, I'm told I need to call Virgin Mobile. I have a giant headache at this point. I call Pat & tell him the current situation & that I'm so fed up I just want to buy a new phone & say the hell with this. Pat says he'll deal with it. I give him all the phone numbers & IMEI number & everything. Ok

Pat spent most of the afternoon on the phone with Virgin. It took hours but at one point my Boost phone was off & the iPhone was getting set up. But, unsurprisingly at this point, things went catastrophically wrong & my Boost phone had to be turned on again, which meant I had to make a payment for my phone for some reason. So now I still have a broken phone & I'm out an extra $47.

Not OK.

Boston Wounded Vet Run VI

Yesterday I took part in an amazing event, the Boston Wounded Vet Run at Suffolk Downs. Five wounded veterans were honored and I was humbled to be there. For the first time, a woman was among the honorees. I was proud and grateful and there really aren't words to express my empathy for all these that four men and one woman have suffered for our sake.

I say this so you know I'm not trying to find something to be upset or offended by, I'm a 'live and let live' type for the most part. But I am a woman and something happened yesterday that bothered me at the time and was still running through my mind as I lay in bed last night. I'm not picking a nit or trying to cause a ruckus. But I saw something I didn't like, so I'm saying something.

The governor couldn't come to the event, so he sent his Chief Secretary, Carlo Basile, in his stead. Basile was introducing Marine Sgt. Kirstie Ennis, to quote her bio from the BWVR website (to give you an idea of what this brave young woman has gone through): 

On June 23, 2012, a CH-53E Super Stallion Ennis was aboard went down during a combat resupply run to Forward Operating Base Now Zad, Afghanistan. All eight people aboard survived, but the crash left Ennis with a shattered jaw, broken leg bones, burns, cervical and lumbar spine damage, traumatic brain injury and a hearing impairment. After a few years of trying to salvage her leg it unfortunately had to be amputated. After 38 reconstructive surgeries and years of speech and cognitive therapy, the 24-year-old is scheduled to appear on US Paralympic team.

After mangling her name, "Christy, Kirstie, Christy, no Kirstie, ha ha," he put his arm around her and commented, "she's pretty hot, right?" And he laughed, and she laughed and the crowd got a kick out of it. This person lost her leg, has suffered countless injuries and is miraculously still standing and still a whole person and she's just "hot." 

I smiled with the crowd for a second before I frowned as my mind went into overdrive (as it is wont to do) and I barely heard the rest of Basile's remarks. I kept thinking, "would he say that about the men sitting behind him? Would he put his arm around Sgt. Peter Damon or Marine Sgt Eric Rodriguez and say, "hey, he's hot, am I right, folks?". Would a woman in Basile's place ever say that about these men, these wounded warriors? "Ladies, he's a hot piece, know what I'm saying?" 

No. Because it's inappropriate. It strips this decorated veteran of her humanity and she becomes an object. I watched a women who suffered and nearly died for her country objectified in front of a crowd of thousands and the man who did it was applauded. He is a public official. She laughed too, how could she not? 

Sadly, I'm guessing she and her fellow female military are used to hearing inappropriate comments, sexual innuendo, slurs and insults. They have to be harder and tougher than their male comrades simply because of the fact that they are women and they, by their very nature and placement in the military, are fighting institutionalized sexism every day. 

Every day. 

Still. 

In 2016.

This sexism needs to stop. Moments like this are the reason that feminism as a concept is still necessary. Feminism is not the idea that women are better than men. It is the notion that women and men are EQUAL and as such should be treated the same. That's it. 

If you're offended by this post or scared by strong women or feminism in general, perhaps you need to take a closer look inside. If Sgt. Ennis was your daughter or your sister or your friend or your wife, I think you'd be offended if someone reduced her from the sum of her amazing life into "she's hot."

My Rooster Keeps Attacking Me

Monday my rooster Luke came at me.

It was the first time he's been let out of his coop & run since we built it for him. Bo, our other rooster & his flock have been free ranging for a while. But Luke has always been aggressive, honestly he's kind of a jerk... Long story but thus he has his own coop & his own flock.

Luke, the jerk

I'd just got home from running errands. I noticed that Luke & his ladies were over by Bo's coop (we keep them penned in, we were planning on alternating their days out if the experiment was successful). I got some seeds to go feed my chickens but I was distracted by a package that had arrive me the door. I took a picture of it to send to me husband when I was being clawed & flogged by Luke. I was so surprised I turned my back to him. I eventually kick/shoved him back a few feet which didn't deter him at all. I grabbed a nearby branch and fended him off. 

I went inside the house and called my husband. I was practically vibrating with anger. Pat reminded me I can't retreat & I have to attack when he does that. He also laughed at me a bit because Luke has been coming at him for awhile now. 

I decided while talking to Pat that I was going to go back out there & show Luke who was boss. He immediately attacked me again as soon as I went outside & walked to the coop where his flock was still poking around.









He did it again today (Sat 3/6) first thing when I was changing his food. I knew to curb his behavior I had to keep picking him up when he attacks me. 

So I shouted "Come at me bro!" & grabbed him during his attack. When I was trying to grasp him more securely he nearly ripped my glasses off my face & then bit my nose, making it bleed. The little shit.

I went inside. Pat tended to my wounds & I sat holding Luke for a half hour before putting him back in his coop.  

My name is Luke & I'm an asshole. 

Since then he's been confined to his run & coop. We got him four more hens & hopefully that will help him. I also got some advice on dealing with aggressive roosters from BackyardChickens.com.

UberGirl

Well, I'm an Uber driver now.

Captain Awesome is all spiffed up & looking sharp. 

Yesterday was my first day. I had two pickups. Both were college students. The first girl was also named Diana & when I was on my way to pick her up I saw a Dodge station wagon painted with Wonder Woman emblems. It was a sign!

My second pickup was later in the day. I took two college students from Wheaton College to Brandeis University. They were moving a bunch of stuff & because Awesome is a kick ass Element, it all fit. If I were in a sedan there would be no way I could have taken them. Because it was a long trip I earned a lot of money for it. Almost made driving home in rush hour traffic worth it!

I do wonder if there is a way to find out where the drop off is going to be. I'm off to Google to find out.

The only drawback I've noticed is that the Uber App & Google Maps are a serious drain on the phone battery. For my first pickup I attempted to use my Magellan GPS but it took me to the wrong location. So I will keep using my phone. I also have the Waze app but that is also a big battery drain. I'll keep a portable charger with me in the future. 

As a courtesy I have a cooler with bottled water that I take with me. Also since Awesome has suicide doors

... I get out & open the doors for the passengers. 

That was my first day as UberGirl. I'll keep you all posted. Wish me luck.

Reflecting on Anxiety & IBS. Or: IBS woes (not gross or TMI/cringe-worthy! Promise!)

Stress causes anxiety. Anxiety can affect IBS. 

I am going to share with you that I suffer from anxiety. I realize there is still a stigma attached to mental health issues but I think it's important that more people actually talk about it to destigmatize the subject.

"Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18% of the population." (source).

40 million people is A LOT of people. To give you an idea of how many that is: 17% of the population of the US is black (source). There are more people suffering from anxiety disorders than there are black people in America.

I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder and most recently, ADD (now commonly known as ADHD - but hyperactivity has NEVER been an issue for me, just the opposite. Although my brain is definitely hyperactive, my body is more lethargic.) I take medicine to manage my anxiety as well as learned coping skills. It is a never ending struggle to manage anxiety.

Regarding stress/anxiety & IBS

."If you do diagnostic interviews, what you find is that about 60% of IBS patients will meet the criteria for one or more psychiatric disorders," says Edward Blanchard, PhD, professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Albany. (source: WebMD)

There is no direct link that definitively states anxiety causes IBS, it's more that a high percentage of people who suffer from IBS also suffer from anxiety. They are linked but not causal. I find this fascinating as someone who has struggled with anxiety for years and only recently have been plagued by IBS.

My personal experience with IBS

My IBS has taken over my life since it first manifested in mid-November of 2014. I have had to stop searching for a steady job, I had to stop taking Krav Maga classes & exercising. I have become almost completely housebound. I am tethered to the toilet as I like to say. This situation has lead me to become extremely isolated and to be frank, lonely.

To give you an idea of what my life is like. Here's a rundown of my day:

During the night, I got up around 4 am & went to the bathroom. Then, I woke up this morning at 8:15 am with an urgent need to go to the bathroom (when I say "go to the bathroom", assume I mean number 2. I don't want to gross anyone out so I'm not going into details but unless I specify, assume some sort of bowel movement. Sorry TMI.). I'm writing this blog post around 1 pm & I've gone to the bathroom six times so far today. This is normal for me. This has become my normal.

In general, every day, for at least two hours after I wake up, I can't go anywhere or do anything because I find I have to go to the bathroom frequently and urgently. Like "gotta go, gotta go, gotta go RIGHT NOW." As the day progresses, the bathroom trips tend to become less frequent and far less urgent. I can hold it if I have to when running errands. I try to not to be away from my house or somewhere I'm familiar with the bathroom for longer than two hours. Some days I go all afternoon my daily tally ends up between 10-15 bathroom trips a day. Some days I have four or five hours in a row where I don't have to go at all. The bathroom trips don't start up again until the evening and are less frequent and less urgent.

The trouble is there is no way to predict which type of day I'm going to have. Will today be a good day where after my usual morning tribulations, I'm able to go run errands, go to appointments or have lunch with my parents? Or will it be one of the other ones, where I go to the bathroom at least once an hour all day?

---

I may have discussed this in a previous blog post but here is a brief history of the steps I've taken to deal with my IBS

After I saw my first gastroenterologist, he thought my pancreas numbers were a bit high so he put me on Creon, a pancreatic enzyme and to start taking a probiotic. This was in January. He also performed every test under the sun, blood tests, diagnostic tests (colonoscopy, CT scan, etc etc etc). I was then scheduled to see him again in May. MAY! Because he was a specialist, he was booked. After a month or so I decided I needed a second opinion and hoped to find a doctor I could see more frequently. Or at least one who wouldn't make me wait five months between appointments.

I saw my new gastroenterologist and she confirmed the first's diagnosis or Post Infectious IBS. She told me to keep taking Imodium regularly, to stop the Creon as it wasn't doing anything and suggested a cholesterol medicine that was known to, as a side effect, bulk up the stool (sorry, so gross, sorry). I started taking Cholestyramine but it gave me terrible heartburn and I already suffer from GERD. It was unbearable so after two weeks she stopped that medicine and put me on Lomotil, a powerful anti-diarrheal. At first I was taking one pill four times a day to little effect, I then went up to two pills four times a day but that was the maximum allowable dosage and she wasn't really comfortable with my taking that much for a long period of time. After a few weeks, it seemed the Lomotil was helping and that I could go back down to one pill four times a day. Now I take it three times a day, as my doctor has repeatedly suggested trying to take less but I've have been thinking about upping my dosage as I seem to be backsliding and not really getting a handle on my IBS, which is the whole point of these medicines.

Anyway, after being put on the Lomotil, at my next visit, she suggested I take a fiber supplement as another way to hopefully bulk up and then have to "evacuate less frequently" so now I take 2 fiber tablets in the morning and this week I've decided to start taking an additional tablet at bedtime.

Lomotil seems to help. Imodium shuts down my insides the day after I take it, which is odd but that is the pattern I've noticed since I've been tracking my medicine intake and bathroom visits. I still had a really active gut with cramping and occasional gas so my doctor prescribed me Bentyl, which is an anti-spasmodic. 

I've been reluctant to take Imodium regularly anymore because, while going the bathroom frequently is a hassle, I'd rather get it all out of my system rather than have a "shut down" like Imodium tends to produce (even if it is a day late).

I now take the Lomotil and Bently together three times a day. As I've stated I have been considering increasing my Lomotil because I'm so tired of having 12 bathroom trips a day on a regular basis.

Why am I telling you this? I can hear you, "get to the point!" Well, those of you who know me, know I tend to ramble a bit and off-topic tangents made up a lot of my conversations. So deal with it!

Well, life is stressful in general. My life is no more or less stressful than anyone else's other than it is happening to me. And that is what having anxiety or having IBS feels like. Life is happening to you, you are not living it, you are merely surviving. I don't want people to think that every single day is a struggle for me or that I'm also suffering from depression or a general malaise. But lately, IBS has added a serious burden to my coping methods I use to manage my anxiety. That's actually that's one big thing anxiety & IBS have in common - it not something you are magically cured from no matter what drugs you take, it is something you manage. You deal with it. You live with it. It doesn't just go away. It is a factor in your life every day.

With anxiety there are medications and coping methods and modalities individuals use to keep their anxiety from controlling their life. Because when my anxiety is spiking, as I put it, it feels like it is in control, not me. That I am merely reacting instead of acting. And with the IBS, I've been limited in my reactions because I'm housebound a lot of the time.

It feels like a I'm stuck in a hamster wheel, running in circles. My anxiety affects my IBS which in turn affects my anxiety which then affects my IBS. Repeat ad infinitum.

This is my life now.

I've got (cabin) fever & the only prescription is more cowbell

I'm really going stir crazy with this IBS bullshit. 

I had a nice weekend, going to BBQs on Saturday & Sunday, & then paid for it by having "intestinal distress" (I'm trying to be gracious & ladylike here, we all know what I'm talking about) for two & a half days. My butt can't handle going 10+ times a day. It's not natural!

On top of that, or more accurately because of that, or causing that ... I don't even know anymore ... my anxiety has been through the roof this past month or so. 

Maybe that's a reaction to having been on pain meds for like a month & half dealing with a failed root canal & then the complications that resulted from a difficult tooth extraction. 

Maybe it's just my unusual weird seasonal affective disorder. I've never been diagnosed with it (I just call it that), since I seem to get it in August. Why? Who knows?! Maybe it goes back to the trauma of leaving my high school friends to go to college, maybe it's just my body reacts to the heat by spiraling into anxiety. All I know is every year around August I get in a funk.

Whatever, anyway, I've tried reaching out to my friends, only to realize, now that I'm older I don't have that many friends. Sure I have a large number of people I'm friendly with or I have a shared history with, but real close friends on whom I feel comfortable unloading (& who still live in my area as many friends have moved), I have maybe three. THREE!! Not including my husband. He's his own special category. And guess what? They are busy because they have jobs &/or kids & their own lives & I'm just sitting here at home slowly (or not so slowly) going crazy.

I've taken steps to deal with my isolation. I joined meetup.com & have joined a few groups in my area, in the hopes to meet new people that have shared interests. I'm not even necessarily looking for new friends (though I don't turn away new friends), I'm just looking for a place I can go once a month or so & talk to other people.

I'm also looking for work that is either extremely part time with constant bathroom access (can I put that in the cover letter?) or work at home opportunities (that aren't total scams). I'm also forcing myself to get back into audio engineering (as that was a costly failed experiment & I already feel like a disappointment & a failure regularly without seeing ProTools on my computer or my textbook on the shelf). I'm going to try to push myself in that regard. I need to, it's a huge issue between Pat & I that I got that certificate & then did nothing with it & just thinking about trying AE again makes my breath strained & shallow  but I must prevail. 

What sucks is that people think I'm smart (not a brag, people have said that to me) but when I hear that, my inner voice says, yes but not as smart as X or [vague generalities] are smarter. (That's the sucky part not that I'm smart)

I should (& I hate that word because it's a judgment word & I don't need help judging myself & coming up lacking) be smart enough to do what I put my mind to. It's just really hard for me to get out of my mind's way, if that makes any sense at all.

/end rant.

IBS med & bathroom log

I have been keeping a medicine/bathroom log regarding my IBS-D. If there is interest I would be willing to share that. Basically I keep track of the medicine that I am taking for my IBS as well as a bathroom log keeping track of how often and what type of stools I am producing.

If this would be of help to anyone I would be willing to share it even though it is intensely private.

Feel free to comment so I can gauge if there's interest.